we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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