if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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