Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize