So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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