I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
