haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize