i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
