yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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