ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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