I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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