but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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