Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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