Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
