Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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