IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
