Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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