So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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