Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
