You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
