1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
