walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
