Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
