What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize