I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
