Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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