I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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