But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
