i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
