a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
