just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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