we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
