If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if only i could text you this smell
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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