kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
