so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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