I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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