i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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