why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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