I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
