I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
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