Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I touched a dick in church today
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
