I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
