Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
