i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize