I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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