Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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