I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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