Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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