sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
