I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
