So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
