Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
