Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
