just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
