I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
