it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
