i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize