ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
