If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
